Your point about questioning our own assumptions (especially those we may have made early in life) is very fair and reasonable advice.
The way I look at it though, the desire to have children comes from societal and self conditioning too. For the majority of people, building a nuclear family is what they see all around them, and few ever really question whether or not their desire comes from the fact that it seems like the default and it would be too hard to go against the grain.
I don’t have the drive to have children. Maybe I would have if I saw it as more of a possibility earlier on in life, but I think we underestimate how much of that drive actually originates from outside forces for many people.
I never wanted kids and then in my late 30s (currently 51M) I really started feeling deeply that something was missing in my life. I had close friends, made good money, had a lot of freedom, and yet still suddenly felt a deep desire and almost a loneliness without them.
My father had me when he was 50 so I didn’t feel like I was too old. Ended up having 3 and wouldn’t trade them for anything. For all the hardship there is such an overwhelming joy that also comes with children that I’ve never found anywhere else.
Agreed. I wasn't sure if having kids was a right decision given all other entertainment we could have had and hobbies I could have continued to pursue. My partner was absolutely sure about having kids. Looking back now, kids are the best thing to have happened to me without any doubt.
The way I look at it though, the desire to have children comes from societal and self conditioning too. For the majority of people, building a nuclear family is what they see all around them, and few ever really question whether or not their desire comes from the fact that it seems like the default and it would be too hard to go against the grain.
I don’t have the drive to have children. Maybe I would have if I saw it as more of a possibility earlier on in life, but I think we underestimate how much of that drive actually originates from outside forces for many people.