Expect you many need to literally manufacture 1,500x as many scooters. ‘The average vehicle went 163.2 miles over 92 trips during its lifetime’ https://qz.com/1561654/how-long-does-a-scooter-last-less-tha...

So, odd as it may seem, electric cars may be better for the environment.

The average bicycle isn't any better. Huffy knew this and purposely designed their bikes for a lifetime of 50 miles. We should get rid of them too.

I’ve never seen any bikes that has a lifetime of 50 miles. But I’m all for anti-planned obsolescence laws. Maybe just forcing manufacturers to put the expected life of the device next to it would help ?

How exactly does one go about this? Is it built from paper? Has Silicon Valley actually convinced themselves that bicycles are bad for the environment now?

This idea fails to account for MANY car externalities, like the effects of paving the roads and parking lots they need, and the massive environmental opportunity cost associated with those spaces. Scooters are net positive if they get any number of people out of cars. Yes they're worse than bikes, but nobody was really saying they were better.